we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
