is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
