East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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