garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
