the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
