Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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