talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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