i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize