Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
