PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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