yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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