Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize