He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize