Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
