She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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