I wish I could teleport
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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