i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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