I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
