The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
