East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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