It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
