just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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