mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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