somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
