Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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