I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
