So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
