Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
