He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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