we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
