If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
