my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
