i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
