she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize