i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
