nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
