So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
