Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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