i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
