i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
