Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
