After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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