There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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