Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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