420 ftw
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
did you just send me my own nude
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
