hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
