Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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