So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
