My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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