Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just found a bag of teeth...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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