how can u be prego again
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
