CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
