just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
