I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I love you. Go after that dick
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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