My friends, they love my intelligence
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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