five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
