Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
