im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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