Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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