it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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