she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
