My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
