he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
