check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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