I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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