The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
