I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize