Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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