ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Never underestimate the power of titties
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