yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
