People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
