So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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