Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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