you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
