I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Small penises have feelings too.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
